Total Eclipse of the Heart T Shirt

Total Eclipse of the Heart T Shirt. I sorta thought Rod Stewart sang this song, but that’s wrong. It was Bonnie Tyler. Such passion. And this tee, remembering this classic song and being goofy by conflating a sun eclipse. Good stuff right here. Probably you should get it.

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This shirt is legit. It has words like penumbra, umbra, and rays. It’s also conscientious. It doesn’t want you to be confused, so it contains a note saying that the diagram is not to scale. Good to know, cuz if it was that would mean you chest was as big as the sun, moon, and Earth all put together.

You may do a lot of bench pressing, but I’m going to put this in writing: there’s only like a 3% chance that you’ll get literally as big as those celestial bodies if you bench hard and consistently three days a week, and take the creatine. So don’t even kid yourself if you think this design is to scale.

But, let’s talk more about the song. Actually, we should probably watch the video to really set the mood. Be patient. The volume really kicks in at the 25 second mark.


Ah, moons, candles and feathered hair. Brings me, misty eyed, back to the 80s. Jesus. Almost 407 million views. That song really touched some people. No wonder there’s a shirt goofing on it in 2018 from the titan of the industry, Snorg Tees.

Total Eclipse of the Heart T Shirt: Do You Think She’s Singing Her Hit Right Here?

Total Eclipse of the Heart T Shirt
Photo by Florian Stangl (

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It’s quite amazing you can make a whole decades-long career on one song. Do you think Bonnie knew what she even had in this tune? I wonder who wrote it. Do you think they knew?

I mean, so this thing is really still a viable piece of the culture. The New Yorker ran a piece about it in 2017. Whoa. I had no idea. Of course, as soon as I saw the shirt I knew what it was about, but I was alive when it originally came out and was on the radio every other hour.

FYI – Tyler was a Welsh singer. Jim Steinman wrote and produced the tune for her fifth album. 6 million copies of the single were sold. Billboard’s number 6 song for 1983.