Champagne Now Resolutions Later T Shirt

Champagne Now Resolutions Later T Shirt. Now, that’s a sensible order. Get the bubbly taken care of. Get a buzz on. Then, well, get some more sparkling wine, and maybe some of those cute hors d’oeuvres, like meat on a stick or cheese or whatever. Then, maybe get to the resolutions. Or not.

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Look, I don’t think you’re an alcoholic, even though you say this same sort of message during every holiday. Mead before opening Christmas presents. Reisling before finding Easter eggs. Jack Daniels before the 4th of July fireworks. OD on heroin before Valentine’s Day.

I get it. You contain your indulgences to those rare days that happen to be national holidays. There’s only like 8 of them or something. It’s not habitual.¬† It’s festive. Good for you.

Plus most resolutions are lame, especially if you’re doing them publicly. Everybody is virtual signalling. I resolve to be even more selfless than I am … to help every homeless person within a 90 mile radius of my warm house that I appreciate so much.

Now, maybe you just like going all out for New Year’s. That’s cool. I have just the place for you. My virtual New Year’s tee closet with all the finest and funniest designs.

Do you know that champagne comes from a specific region in France. And any other beverage labelled champagne is a liar. I’m serious. The bottle is lying to you. Fibbing. Not telling the truth. Deceiving. Run away from that kind of negative false energy on New Years.

Champagne Now Resolutions Later T Shirt

Champagne Now Resolutions Later T Shirt

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It’s not like you wake and bake or liquid lunch. Or anything habitual like that. Just every once in a while.

You know what? You don’t even like champagne. You just choke it down because you’re a fun time trooper. Good for you. That’s how you make friends and make memories, and those are the ingredients of a good life.

That and booze for every occasion.