Beard Baubles T Shirt: When It’s Time to Make That Hairy Face Festive

Beard Baubles T Shirt. Those damn hipsters! Just kidding. Hipsters are fine. I love fermented foods, obscure (unlistenable) music, and whittling. And skinny jeans. And big ass beards that contain multitudes of holiday ornamentation.

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The red nose and ears on this guy. Let’s discuss. Is the temperature cold, and his extremities are bright red because they are freezing? Or are they infected from a back alley ear and nose septum piercing. Or both. I’m not sure, and I don’t know who to ask to get this vital information. 

Wait! Hold on! This is a real thing? There are really beard baubles? This beard thing might be completely out of hand. When I grow my beard I don’t trim it along the edges. I let it get super messy. That’s how beards should be. This thing with trimmers, oils, combs, straight lines, clean neck. I’m not sure about it. 

Maybe I’m just too old school or my beard tastes are too feral. I don’t know. I just like it when the neck beard meets the chest hair. That feels like the right thing. An unbroken circle. Infinity. Life. 

But, what do I know? Here’s a site that might help if you want the latest info on beardery.

Beard Baubles T Shirt Hints At the Modern Santa

Beard Baubles T-Shirt

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For some reason I didn’t think about the connection of the beard with Santa Claus. Maybe this is the millennial Santa Claus. But, instead of delivering gifts to all the world’s children, they locally source leather goods just for themselves. And, make kombucha from the mother ‘shroom just for themselves and maybe a very close friend. 

And, maybe, by their actions they teach all the children to be more self-sufficient, crafty, and smug, which will in turn make the world a much richer place. Or at least more judgmental. With more ironic pop culture consumption. And bikes. 

Did I mention skinny jeans on dudes?