Abstinence 99.99% Effective T Shirt (Mother, Jesus, Immaculate Conception)

Abstinence 99.99% Effective T Shirt (Mother, Jesus, Immaculate Conception). Good Lord I love this shirt. Hilarious. Joseph is like … I didn’t even touch her. We’re just engaged. What the hell? The Angel of the Lord was like bro, it was the Holy Spirit.

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I’m getting into the Bible more these days. Very fascinating. Those stories pack a lot of cultural significance, and have evolved for 1,000s of years. Mess with them at your own peril. Seriously. There’s a reason for every little damn detail.

So, anyway, Joseph is like who the f*** is this Holy Spirit dude. I’m giving him a piece of my mind. Not true. Here I’m telling you that it’s very important to pay attention to the detail of the Biblical stories, and now I’m making stuff up.

He actually was just going to divorce Mary quietly and hope she wasn’t disgraced or worse, stoned to death, because that’s what they did back then. Pretty cool of him really. He must have really loved Mary. Of course, if you’re visited by an angel, and some speculate it was the Archangel Gabriel, who was like God’s PR guy or communications professional, then your probably going to take whatever he says a little more seriously.

Like, wait, first how did you get in here. And, second, why is every hair on my body standing on end. Third, where are my sunglasses. It’s the middle of the night but you have an aura that’s burning holes in my corneas.

Okay, what was that you were saying.

Wait, I’m just now discovering that the angel of the Lord came to Joseph in a dream. That’s not quite as definitive in my mind. Maybe back in the day, they had more connection to the subconscious and could trust the vibe of a dream. But, geez, if I trusted my dreams, I’d think I could play in the NBA dunking on fools every time down court.

Actually, there’s now speculation that nefarious forces are co-opting the technology and science behind manipulating dreams. This is probably not great. Just think of the power of mass dream manipulation. Talk about brainwashing and Big Brother. Yikes.

But, back to the story. I’m not implicating the CIA in a plot to implant Mary with a baby and Joseph with a bunk angel dream. This is not what I’m saying. The science is there now, but back then it was more organic.

Abstinence 99.99% Effective T Shirt (Mother, Jesus, Immaculate Conception)

Abstinence 99.99% Effective T-Shirt (Mother, Jesus, Immaculate Conception)

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This is one of Snorg Tees finest. It really gets me. There are 60+ more that I also enjoy that you should look at if you so desire. Thus, sayeth the Lord.